Hello, I am a 30-something woman with a 40-something lover. We met four years ago and had instant chemistry from the beginning. Quite honestly, our lovemaking was and still is extremely passionate. Our spirits and intellect are so in sync it's one of the most beautiful things that I have ever experienced. So much so, that I left my husband of 12 years for this man in the hopes of a real relationship with him. He is married. About two years into the relationship my lover began to discuss a "open relationship" and swingers clubs. He didn't necessarily suggest for "us" to do it, but it was put up for simple discussion. I began to consider the thought of us attending "swingers clubs" and decided I was ready for us to experience it together. We attended 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 times and it has now become a routine part of our lives. It's exciting and outside of the box. HOWEVER, outside of the swingers clubs, it has come to be commonplace for us (more so him) to discuss his encounters with women and hookup with women. When he begins to talk about dating them and forming a bond with these women, I found myself becoming uncontrollably jealous, sad and very depressed. I feel 2nd and 3rd "fiddle" to these women, through all of my sacrifice to him. I made the decision that I was ok with this relationship but truthfully, I'm not. He tells me he's in love with me and truly I am in love with him (which makes it difficult to simply leave). Should I believe him? Could he possibly want something deeper with me? To make matters worse in this equation, he's married. He barely acknowledges that he's still with her although I've asked him several times. We spend almost every moment together so I am not sure how he could not just be separated. He refuses to discuss the details. Help me gain my thoughts and make a SANE decision. I'm confused, frustrated, hurt and going through so much pain with this relationship. I'm in love with him but not sure if he's just not playing with my emotions because with me he's getting the ice cream, cake, pie and all the toppings. Peace and GOD's blessing.
LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW